B12 Solipsism

Spreading confusion over the internet since 1994

I’m Comic Sans, MoFo

without comments

There are days when I miss working in an office with other people, and not just with cats and computers.

Listen up. I know the shit you’ve been saying behind my back. You think I’m stupid. You think I’m immature. You think I’m a malformed, pathetic excuse for a font. Well think again, nerdhole, because I’m Comic Sans, and I’m the best thing to happen to typography since Johannes fucking Gutenberg.

(click to continue reading Timothy McSweeney’s Internet Tendency: I’m Comic Sans, Asshole..)

Comic Sans Mofo.png

I’d love to print this entire rant and leave it out by the coffee machine. Sigh.

People love me. Why? Because I’m fun. I’m the life of the party. I bring levity to any situation. Need to soften the blow of a harsh message about restroom etiquette? SLAM. There I am. Need to spice up the directions to your graduation party? WHAM. There again. Need to convey your fun-loving, approachable nature on your business’ website? SMACK. Like daffodils in motherfucking spring.

When people need to kick back, have fun, and party, I will be there, unlike your pathetic fonts. While Gotham is at the science fair, I’m banging the prom queen behind the woodshop. While Avenir is practicing the clarinet, I’m shredding “Reign In Blood” on my double-necked Stratocaster. While Univers is refilling his allergy prescriptions, I’m racing my tricked-out, nitrous-laden Honda Civic against Tokyo gangsters who’ll kill me if I don’t cross the finish line first. I am a sans serif Superman and my only kryptonite is pretentious buzzkills like you.

Read more and giggle

Written by Seth Anderson

June 16th, 2010 at 7:42 pm

Posted in humor

Tagged with , ,

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