Poor, poor Christians, forced to pay the city a pittance. Not forced to pay property taxes or anything like that, but even contributing nickles and dimes is apparently too much of a burden.
Churchgoers forced to pay to pray: Ever since the steeple of Chicago’s First United Methodist Church went up across the street from City Hall in the 1830s, worshippers have sought a place to hitch their horse or park their station wagon to pray.
But since the city privatized its parking meters last year, more churchgoers have encountered unanswered prayers for parking. Pricey meters and restricted curbside parking now surround historic houses of worship in the Loop, forcing the faithful to pay to pray or get free parking by volunteering for soup kitchens, tutoring or other ministries.
Some pastors are pushing the city to consider what churches contribute to city life and ease parking restrictions for congregants, especially on Sunday mornings when commercial and government traffic is light.
If churches whine themselves into special treatment, I’m petitioning various businesses I frequent to become churches too; restaurants, bars, retail, whatever. Only makes sense, right? Food can be a transcendent experience, better than any bible thumping, at least for me. In fact, I’m declaring that I am a Church, so I demand the right to park anywhere in the City of Chicago for free, at any time.