With a few variants and derivatives, we are stealing Present Imperfects review-writing math, as needed. If you cannot reduce emotion to formula, what possible hope do you have in America of the 21st C.E.? Look at Dylan and his 'mathematical formulas for playing guitar', for instance.
Present Imperfect: This entry x where it should have y.
The n was x but lacked y.
Where n = a menu item, x = a non-committal yet positive adjective, and y = a hyperbolic adjective not generally used to describe food.
i.e., “The pork loin was flavorful but lacked gravitas”or, for the more advanced reviewer:
What the a lacked in x, the b made up for in y.
Where a = a menu item, x = a characteristic often used in conjunction with fast cars, b = a menu item, and y = an adjective generally used by Victorian novelists to describe a young woman.
i.e., “What the the vichyssoise lacked in punch, the crème brûlée made up for in delicacy.”
I'm only partially kidding, but am wholly amused.
(h/t)
Tags: restaurant, /review
